Cat Marnell or Gore Vidal?

This site is dedicated to elevating the most astute literary quips and musings from two of the greatest writers this nation has ever seen. Can you guess who said what? Click each quote for the answer!

If I were a dyke and a pair of Podhoretzes came waddling toward me on the beach, copies of Leviticus and Freud in hand, I’d get in touch with the nearest Alsatian dealer pronto.